Hilda Mary Vickers

“Words are few, thoughts are deep, memories of you we will always keep.”

Hilda sadly passed away on the 23rd March in the care of St. Luke’s Hospice, aged 86 years.

A service to celebrate the life of Hilda will be held at the Crematorium Chapel, Crewe on Thursday 1st April, followed by cremation.

Donations in memory of Hilda will be gratefully received on behalf of St. Luke’s Hospice.

For any further information please contact our funeral home on 01270 584447.

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We are here to honour the memory of Hilda; to commend her to God who is Love; to give thanks for her life and to celebrate that life; to show solidarity with the family members who have lost her; to comfort one another in our grief.

Death always brings the pain of parting. The greater our regard for a person, the greater is the pain. Yet who would choose NOT to have love in their life?

We recognize the real sense of loss. This is real and poignant. We need to register this loss, to grieve in our own ways this loss over the time we need, and to help ourselves to accept what this loss means for each one of us. Hopefully, this service today is part of that adjustment process. Emotions can run wild  – sometimes anger, or indignation, or fear, or regret, for example.

But today everyone can  take a crumb of comfort that she has been brilliantly supported by numerous NHS services and her children in her own home, thus maintaining her independence,   in years of recent illness – for which I’m sure she would want me to say WELL DONE! And HEARTFELT THANKS! – and that she died in St Luke’s as was her choice, aware that she was surrounded by family. Robert had been squeezing her hand shortly before she passed.  Her physical body might have been failing, but her mind was clear as a bell, and she knew she was surrounded by love.

St Luke’s staff as ever were there for Hilda and the family. The family wish them to know that all this was much appreciated.

So Hilda has been very brave and strong-minded as she has faced her health challenges.

If we pause to reflect, we sense the way Hilda connects us with people and places and events over a very long period of time. Born and brought up in Crewe, her memory went back to some very different times, when choices were probably simpler, communities really were communities, material things were in short supply, and people usually valued what they had and lived thriftily. I think it is fair to say that she carried forward in her life some of the key values and standards derived from this earlier life, when things were tough.  She also in life has faced various health challenges. But her determination and tough mindedness have carried her forward.  She learned to be resilient and to work hard.

Mind you, if I tell you the story of her first job, you might think otherwise!  That first job was at the Babylinen clothes factory where she stuck it for…ONE DAY! And she almost left her second job which was at a laundry. It was only because the supervisor took her into her office because she was unhappy with what they were offering her, and responded to her request to work on deliveries. She was happy! She loved it!

Subsequent jobs worked out fine. She preferred night work – mainly I think to fit with family, and it gave Ernie, her husband, a chance to develop his catering skills for the family. First, Cleaning at County Clothes. Then auxiliary nurse at Crewe Memorial  Hospital, later transferring to Leighton Hospital at its opening in 1972. She was there for 26 years on nights. For a while she was a COSHE Union rep. I guess she nursed a huge number of folks over the years. Hats off to her for taking on some tasks which I would think would have been pretty hairy! Thanks for her care and compassion.

She made many lifelong friends at Leighton.  Which leads on to something important about Hilda’s personality and character. She was good with people. She made friends easily, and kept them. Some sadly are no longer with us. A special mention for Audrey and Jean whom she has been greatly missing.  Others know who they are and I’m sure that Hilda would want me to thank you for your friendship.  It certainly helped  that she  was a car owner and driver and so could easily get about and meet up with folks and arrange outings.

Which leads on to something else. She passed her driving test aged 40! It’s a challenge as you get older, you know. It shows something of her strength of will and stamina. Apparently she wasn’t just your average driver. She was a GOOD driver.  Ernie, by the way, didn’t drive – but he did have a role with the car – to keep it washed and clean.

Now to family. Very high in Hilda’s priorities.  First there was the family she was born into. Born to Florence and Frank in 1934. Being 12 years younger than her youngest sibling she was spoiled by the family – particularly I think her Dad. She was very much a Daddy’s Girl. So it was a real blow to her when he died aged just 58 in 1951, and she was 17.

Then came the family she created around her.  She married Ernie in St Barnabas Church a year later and they went on to have 5 children between 1953 and 1959.  Sadly little Kevin, Hilda’s second son died as an infant.  Another very sad blow having lost her dad a few years previously.

So the 4 remaining children – Bobbie, Maureen, Graham and Tony – have been properly brought up. Something of their mother’s character is carried forward in their lives. The work ethic. Resilience. Family loyalty. And now there are the children’s children – Hilda’s grandchildren – and their children – Hilda’s Great-grandchildren. And all here because Hilda married Ernie in 1952!

To be a good mother and grandmother, and great-grandmother is much more than a matter of biology, as I’m sure we all agree. Mothers are at the heart of loving relationships and the building of trust and goodwill. I’m not saying fathers can’t do these things, of course, but mothers almost by definition are closest to the action. A mother’s love gives us a picture in miniature of God’s love for us his children.

When Hilda’s  children, and grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, think about love and affection and relationships, they should remember what they learned about these things from  her. That love – that ability to give love, and receive love – is being cascaded down the generations.

To continue the family story – the whole family was devastated when Ernie died in 1991 at age 59. Hilda and Ernie had less than 40 years together. Hilda finished work at the hospital shortly after. But now she could concentrate on Bingo  and Emmerdale (don’t phone while she was watching that!), all those friends we mentioned, eating out, going for drives, playing solitaire on the ipad , Scrabble, reading Agatha Christie, and of course her own family. By the way, I’ve been asked to say a special thank you to Doreen for baking to order for Hilda and the family. So well done Doreen!

In the time that Hilda and Ernie had together they were a team and they had some good times together – great holidays, for example. Soon Hilda’s ashes will be placed with his and they will be reunited. This is a symbol of a greater and more wonderful reunion in the heavenly places.  She has been wondering what he has been getting up to these past  30 years, but now she will find out! And in those same spiritual realms those of you who love her will see her again.

Hilda was happy and content here in Crewe and had no wish to seek out greener pastures -– not hankering after the bright lights or the next new thing. That contentment with life is a wonderful quality. If you have contentment in your heart, you will probably also have a sense of gratitude. Then you are blessed indeed, and you have an urge to share blessings with others.

Let me mention something else about Hilda. She liked to see fairness and justice. You can see that to an extent in the fact that she had been a COSHE rep in Leighton.  She would say “I think there’s a letter coming” if she saw an injustice. The family liked to say that back to her with a laugh when something unfair seemed to be going on.

Hilda believed, as I hope you believe, that in the world to come we will have a glorious future. We are reunited with loved ones again. But in the meanwhile she leaves you fragrant and uplifting memories. Rejoice in those memories, now absolutely priceless. Smile and chuckle as she would have smiled and chuckled. Love your families and friends as she did. Be better people for having been in her company.