Marilyn Linda Hopley

“Sad are the hearts that love you. Silent the tears that fall.”

Marilyn was the dearly loved wife of Allan. A treasured mum of Vikie, Philip and Kenny and a very special nana and sister.

On 28th January 2021, Marylin passed away at Leighton Hospital aged 66 years surrounded by her loving family.

Her funeral will take place on Monday 15th January at Crewe Crematorium.

Donations to Alder Hey Children’s Charity will be gratefully received in memory of Marilyn who will be so very sadly missed by everyone who knew her.

 

This loss will be very hard to come to terms with. We struggle to process this in our heads. We can’t even believe it has happened, perhaps. There will be a tussle of different emotions – frustration, anger, fear, for example – plus the deep sadness and the grief.

We are human beings made for love and relationships, and when we lose someone we love we don’t half feel it in our hearts. That grief is the flip side of the love.

But we must give ourselves permission and time to grieve, otherwise we store up tension and misery.

Perhaps this service can be a step along the road of grieving, as we signal to ourselves and the world that we have lost someone precious. Our thoughts must be with those closest to Marilyn:

Allan, her faithful loving husband. (and Grandad Hoppy!)

Kenny, Vicky, and Phillip, her devoted children.

Her loving 8 grandchildren.

Marilyn’s sisters: Gina and Julie.

Marilyn was born in Crewe in 1954 she was a Forces child living in different parts of the country until she was 11 years old when she settled back in Crewe with her mother and sisters. But she was a very mischievous child! She and her sisters were naughty naughty.

For example, one day Marilyn and her sisters decided it would be a great idea to tell her sister Carol that it would not hurt her if they tied her to a milk float on roller skates. They tied her to the bars at the back and when the driver returned he did not see what they had done, and he drove off dragging her behind screaming. Quite neat really.

I don’t know what the teachers at Ludford Street school made of her (or her sisters, for that matter)!

But let’s be positive. I think she learned something about family through her close relationship with her mother Lillian, and this has been the model for the family life she built around her. Family life is so precious, isn’t it? At its best it models the love that God has for his people, and it makes us people who love and care for others.

So let’s think about that family she made. It all started with a bashful Allan, and a giggling Marilyn and her forward friend Jo in The George, where Marilyn served behind the bar. Jo suggested a date for Marilyn and Allan – and they never looked back!

And so to married  and family life which meant so much to Marilyn. Children and grandchildren.

Let me share with you a very sad thing about one grandchild and a very happy thing about another.

The sad thing is the loss of Jamie who would have been 17 now if he had lived. Marilyn was devastated at that loss. Alderhey hospital did everything they could for him, and the family would like donations in Marilyn’s memory to go to that hospital.

The happy thing is the birth 10 months ago of Caleb. He was the child Vicky had been trying to conceive for a long time, and hey! he made it in time to be with Marilyn in her final year, and for her to be able to cuddle.

So.. while there are the sad things there are also lots of great family things to remember. Pub meals for example, spending time together as family wherever, even inciting the little ones to misbehave to give her a laugh. Watching the tv together especially black and white films and Westerns. I hope everyone was happy with those choices!

There were the family BBQ’s, family parties, family days out.

Great holidays – sometimes with some amusing memories. For instance, in Portugal it was taking a long time to find the villa in extreme heat. But once the villa was found, Marilyn scrambled out of the mini bus and jumped straight into the pool fully clothed. And sorry Kenny. No you cannot bring that chameleon home with you as a pet.

Another favourite holiday destination was Cyprus.

Let’s say a word about Marilyn’s working life. She had a varied working life – sewing machinist, including at Chester Barrie making suits for Saville Row, then at General Relays making relays for the old telephone network, and a bit of moonlighting at The George pub as mentioned before.

Following a career break to be with the children, she launched out into Care. At first she was at Church House nursing home, Nantwich, where she achieved her NVQ level 1, 2, 3 in care. From there she went to work on ward 5 at Leighton hospital. A back injury put a stop to that – so then to Sainsbury’s in Nantwich from where she retired as recently as February 2020.

It was the career in Care which she found most fulfilling – especially the work on the Ward at Leighton.

I think this says  quite a lot about the person Marilyn was. She was a caring sort of person.  We have already spoken about her care for family. Now we are seeing her caring for others as well. She was more than willing to reach out to others, she was generous – both in work and outside work.  Care should be about serving others – being compassionate even – and I think Marilyn understood that.

On one occasion while she was working at Church House Nursing Home she came home telling the family that she had decided to take a 100 year old resident on a day trip to Rhyl and we were all going with her. That tells you something about caring – but what about the Risk Assessment I ask!

Let’s make a list of qualities to admire and learn from – and you can probably see some of these in her children and grandchildren. There is the family and home loving side. There is the caring side. And she had a creative side – you can see that in the clothes she helped create and the knitting she did for family and friends and charities, not forgetting her cake-baking. And Marilyn has been very brave these last 5 months.

She had a happy-go-lucky personality. Perhaps we could even say the naughtiness we mentioned earlier has been passed on to family. I know that Kenny, for example, thought it would be fun to start a fire in the wardrobe. Perhaps also she has passed on her dry sense of humour.

Her lovely and loving qualities will stay with you into the future. Sure – you will miss her like crazy, but the memories you have are there to share and celebrate.

In God’s love all these qualities find their fulfilment and perfection, and in God’s love those of you who love her will see her again.

People to thank: – everyone that has been allowed to attend and all the well wishes from others. We would like to thank the team at Sheffield Halamshire Hospital and anyone who helped Marilyn during the last 5 months from diagnosis.