Pearl Jinks

“We carry you close within our hearts and there you shall remain.”

Pearl sadly passed away in the care of Station House Care Home, Crewe on the 2nd March, aged 87 years.

Pearl will be dearly missed and lovingly remembered by all her family and friends.

A service to celebrate Pearl’s life will be held at the Crematorium Chapel, Crewe on Friday 12th March.

We can  take a crumb of comfort in the knowledge that Pearl lived a full and active life until very recently. Pearl was living independently in her home of 45 years in Evans Street until June last year. The NHS might have had ideas for how she should have been managed, but she didn’t take kindly to their plans. “They haven’t bothered with me for 80 years, so I’m not going to bother with them” was her response. She was cycling until just 2 years ago.

While the last 8 months have been very trying, this period of her life has been relatively short, and she has been in a sense protected from the worst of institutional life by her declining grip on reality. The very sad thing is the restrictions which prevented contact with family.

If we pause to reflect, we sense the way Pearl connects us with people and events over a very long period of time. Born and brought up in Crewe, and living all her life in three homes within a stone’s throw of each other – Elizabeth Street, Rigg Street and Evans Street – her memory went back to some very different times, when choices were probably simpler, communities really were communities, material things were in short supply, and people usually valued what they had and lived thriftily. I think it is fair to say that she carried forward in her life some of the key values and standards derived from this earlier life, when things were tougher than now.

She cherished  traditional values – living a respectable life, honest graft, caring for family, loyalty, thrift, resilience, observing consistent routines (Monday Market and Bank, Tuesday Kwiksave, Wednesday hairdresser, etc),  for certain she passes on to subsequent generations many of those rock solid qualities and values.

She might have been over-inclined to come out and say what she thought. For instance, “You are the girl  taking my grandson away” she bluntly told Georgi, Andrew’s fiancé at their first meeting. If challenged about some of her remarks she would say: “They’ll get over it!”.

Pearl knew the value of things. The throw-away, credit card society was not her way. The importance of sound housekeeping, the motto ‘waste not want not’, may seem quaint to some members of today’s society. Yet her standards and values are run-away winners when we really think about things, as we try to be good stewards of the environment, to live within our means.

But knowing the value of things highlights Pearl’s generosity. She was a generous giver, always accurately remembering birthdays and special dates. If you give plentifully of things which you know have value you truly give generously.

We don’t suppose all of us are as diligent as Pearl in cleaning and tidying, but that smell of bleach, the no-go area of the hearth rug, the prohibition on children touching polished surfaces, the sweeping the snow off the lawn, can be seen as an aspect of conscientious housekeeping for family benefit – alongside her meticulous preparation of meals for each member of her family.

Whether family came higher in Pearl’s priorities than cleaning could be debated, but it was certainly up there somewhere.

Pearl started her life as part of a large family in Elizabeth Street. Her brother, Dunc, her one living sibling who is here today, will remember something of those days. It’s not long since she lost her sister Dot, whom she saw every day.

Then came her marriage to Eric in 1956. Their 42 years of marriage brought her joy and fulfilment. She was the dedicated mother to her three sons, who have tried with spouses to be there for her in recent years, and to whom I think she would want me to say “Thanks” and “Well done!” for all they did – getting her shopping etc. Her youngest son, Dave, so loved her mothering he did not leave home till age 29. This despite the memory that when he was a pupil at Ludford Street school his mother knew exactly what he was getting up to,  thanks to the fact that she for a while did some cleaning there.

Grandchildren and great grandchildren were her pride and joy. She loved to boast of their achievements to others. “Eric would have been so proud” she would often say.

Grandchildren will each have their special memories. Maybe they remember the tougher rules – Rachel remembering the “Don’t touch” instruction, or  Kristopher the prohibition on playing football on the lawn, but they will also remember the many good times – Andrew for example the daily shopping to different supermarkets with “Tea and Toast” when they got back.

To be a good mother and grandmother is much more than a matter of biology.  Mothers are at the heart of loving relationships and the building of trust and goodwill.  Not saying fathers can’t do these things, of course, but mothers almost by definition are closest to the action. A mother’s love gives us a picture in miniature of God’s love for us his children.

When Pearl’s  children, and grandchildren, think about love and affection and relationships, they should remember what they learned about these things from  her. That love – that ability to give love, and receive love – is being cascaded down the generations.

Pearl was happy and content here in Crewe and had no wish to seek out greener pastures -– not hankering after the bright lights or the next new thing. That contentment with life is a wonderful quality. If you have contentment in your heart, you will probably also have a sense of gratitude. Then you are blessed indeed, and you have an urge to share blessings with others.

Let’s pick up on the aesthetic creative streak in Pearl’s life.  We can see that in many aspects of her life – the way she kept her house attractive and immaculate, the way she turned herself out, her ability to produce attractive knitwear – the famous Thomas the Tank engine and Thunderbird jumpers. There are opportunities in the creative things we do or make to sense something else which endures and transcends our lives – to sense something of a spiritual world which encourages awe and wonder.

Pearl believed that in the world to come we will have a glorious future. We are reunited with loved ones again. But in the meanwhile she leaves you fragrant and uplifting memories. Rejoice in those memories, now absolutely priceless. Smile and chuckle as she would have smiled and chuckled. Love your families and friends as she did. Be better people for having been in her company.

Pearl’s ashes will in due course be reunited with those of Eric in the cemetery. But that is just a token of a greater reunion in the spiritual realms. And in those same spiritual realms those of you who love her will see her again.

 

Donations in memory of Pearl will be gratefully received on behalf of Alzheimers Society.

For any further information please contact our funeral on 01270 584447.