Terence William Madeley ‘Terry’

“Love’s last gift – Remembrance.”

To start with I want to acknowledge  the sheer shock of what has happened.  The body blow of Terry’s death is still with you. Another tragic victim of the Covid.  This man who meant so much to you – husband, father, grandfather (13 grandchildren), great grandfather (20 great-grandchildren), friend – who was a man’s man – someone who could turn his hand to anything, fix anything, someone who loved the great outdoors – shooting, beating with his working dogs, fishing, bailiff for the waters, keeping ferrets – kept himself fit all his life, football referee in his younger days, a member of South Cheshire Harriers running club, ran 2 London Marathons, WOW! Suddenly he has gone and it is almost impossible to take it in, to believe it.

Disbelief and shock tend to go together. Disbelief in these early stages can be a kind of protection. But then comes  the slow, but necessary,  realisation that this must be true. Perhaps this celebration of life today helps us move forward with the grieving process as we register the enormity of what has happened, but also celebrate the happy memories.

While there is always more to be done in life, there is the satisfaction of being able to say Terry had achieved some remarkable things, and that with Pauline he had created a nest and base from which to serve family members. He was a man of purpose, of getting things done to a very high standard – perhaps even done perfectly.

So, a bit of life history. Terry was born in modest circumstances at home in Holly Mount in Shavington. He was one of 5 children, but sadly lost one brother as a toddler. His parents – Jack and Kathleen – rented a smallholding, and before and after going to school Terry and brother Alan had to see to the pigs and chickens. So you can see he started as an outdoors, get-things-done, sort of guy.

He was also a bit naughty – pinching his mother’s scones, for example. But, having been naughty himself gave him an inkling for what kids get up to, so he knew later what his own kids were up to, even though they thought he didn’t.

At age 14 he was driving a tractor on a nearby farm.

He must have been a hardworking thrifty sort of lad as he was able to save up to buy a Triumph Tiger Cub motorcycle at an early age.

Jumping a bit, he was to work on the footplate on the railways, and later at Rolls Royce, where, by the way, he was known as Victor Meldrew. You’ve got to smile at that.

Let’s talk family, so central to his life. Terry married his first wife Doreen in 1960. They had 3 daughters – Pamela, Elaine and Debbie. Sadly that marriage came to an end. In 1973 he met the future love of his life, Pauline. They were soon an item, together with Pauline’s children Diane, Michael and Sheryl. Terry became the only dad they knew or wanted and he loved them as his own.

There is a little tale to be told about the wedding in 1986. This was to be kept as a secret – nobody was to know in advance. Pauline was going to wear a suit – which needed altering and she wanted daughter Elaine, who had some skill in that direction, to do the necessary. So Elaine dutifully did the work, little realizing the true purpose.  Quite crafty on the part of Terry and Pauline.

This melded family brought great joy. Pauline and the children might have had to put up with Terry’s quirks. His habit of keeping all his junk down the side of his chair. Feet up on the fireplace. Blaming the dogs when he broke wind – something he thought was hilarious. Eating Pauline’s leftovers when they had a meal out.

His repeated jokes or one-liners like:

“Never let your mother be a witness in court for you – she’ll get you hung”.

“God said to Moses ‘Come forth’ but Moses only came fifth and won a bag of peanuts”.

But it was all worth it!

Terry also kept close to his brother Alan who with his wife Marg had moved to live in Perth, Scotland. He loved visiting them. Apart from the family angle, the other big attraction was riding quad bikes – another example of an outdoors activity.

So today we salute a man of many parts. A man who loved deeply – loved family, loved the good things the world offered to him. He may have come from modest beginnings but he made the most of his opportunities, using the talents he had. At heart he was a country boy. He understood something of the balance of nature, the beauty, the rich productivity of farmland and wild areas in their different ways, the promise of a future season on an endless cycle. A message there somewhere for us all.

I think Terry had gratitude in his heart. And gratitude is the perfect antidote – or vaccine if you like – against depression.  Isn’t it great to hear that he was out beating with the dogs right up till the end of last year? Some family members were able to be with him when he died. That is also good to hear.

Bleak though the prospect of life without him may seem to the family, they can revel and exult in the happy memories and the love they had between them. Love has an eternal dimension I think. Pretty well every love song tells you that. And here’s another thing that speaks of eternal things in Terry’s life: his attraction to classical music. The harmonies and rhythms of music echo down the ages, and always will.

But let’s get back to the love. The love between you and Terry is still part of you as it is of Terry. And I think I speak for the family when I say that those who love Terry will see him again.

Celebrate today what you have learned from Terry’s life – how you are better people for having known him, been in his company. His children carry within themselves something of Terry.  For example – The love of, and commitment to, family. The sense of standing on your own two feet and being independent. The importance of honest graft. Grandchildren will remember with affection the walks and fishing trips with Terry.

Terry has passed from your sight and from your touch. But he will never be forgotten; he will never be without the love that sustained him on earth and which he shared among you. The family want to say that everything Terry was to them, he still is, and he stays in their hearts forever. They love him to the moon and back. And Pauline – you are still the best thing since sliced bread.

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The family wish to thank the doctors and nurses and paramedics who did such a fantastic job for Terry. And the family are so grateful to have had access to Terry at the end.

Peacefully in the care of Leighton Hospital ,Terry passed away on 26th January aged 80 years.

Terry’s funeral took place on Wednesday 17th February at Crewe Crematorium Chapel, followed by an interment in the Cemetery.

Donations have been requested to Cancer Research UK in memory of Terry.